“All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.”

— Casey Stengel —

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“It’s funny – if you impersonate somebody, they have no idea it’s them.”

— Tracey Ullman —

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“Memory is funny. Once you hit a vein the problem is not how to remember but how to control the flow.”

— Tobias Wolff —

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“Everything I buy is vintage and smells funny. Maybe that’s why I don’t have a boyfriend.”

— Lucy Liu —

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“Billy is a funny, cheeky, lovely boy and I love being with him. Parenthood is terrifying though. I can barely walk past a building without panicking that it’s going to collapse on his head.”

— Rufus Sewell —

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“I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing.”

— Johnny Carson —

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“There is nothing funny about a well-adjusted, intelligent person making the right choices.”

— Tim Heidecker —

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“I can speak Esperanto like a native.”

— Spike Milligan —

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“I tend to head for what’s amusing because a lot of things aren’t happy. But usually you can find a funny side to practically anything.”

— Maggie Smith —

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